Friday, August 08, 2008

Testing....1..2..3.. Testing...

I just got back from my testing a little bit ago. I had a MRI done and a CT. Let me tell ya, it is not fun. I had the CT done first. It wasn't too bad it just was uncomfortable for a fat chick. Well, okay let me back a bit. I couldn't wear my bra because it had metal clips in them so I had to go without. Well, for a fat chick with size triple F boobs that just doesn't work so well. Ya see, the only time my bra is off is when I'm in the shower. I just can't let these bad girls loose. It's just no fun. Soooo... here I am trying my best to lay flat on my back and not move, all that while trying not to suffocate. And because the girls were loose my arms wouldn't lay flat so I had to suspend them in mid air "reaching for my ankles," she said (yeah like I can reach those) for the next 20 or so minutes. Then she says, "now don't open your eyes. Keep them shut." But she doesn't tell me anything about what's fixin to happen. Next thing I feel is my shoulders being squeezed into what seemed like a tiny hole and then lights flashing but I can't open my eyes. That's a very scary feeling when you can't see what's going on. Dang at least they could say this is what's going to happen. I know I didn't breath for the first five minutes. I was sure they were sucking out my brain or something and they just weren't going to tell me. Ha! Wonder if they can tell if your crazy or not? He he he...Then she injected me with some kind of contrast stuff and that made my whole body feel very hot. It didn't last long but still very weird feeling. Then onto the fun one. On the way they said, "go ahead try to use the bathroom because we put all those fluids in you and the MRI takes about an hour." So I did. Then I was taken into another room with this very large machine that sounded like it was ready to take off. She me told to lay on the table, yet again no bra and flat on my back. Uhh Hello! Luckily because I am a fat chick I got an open MRI machine but it's still not really open. You can just see a little light from the sides of you. They strapped my head in like one of those Hannibal Lector masks and put ear plugs in and sent me in. I swear they were just trying to make me have a seizure or at best the worst migraine you've ever experienced. If you haven't had the joy of experiencing a MRI, it's like someone is standing on top of the machine with a jack hammer and sledge hammer just beating the heck out of it. And they want you to be very still and not move one muscle for the next hour. It was okay for a little while but then I'm telling you a girl with these size boobs can't be like that for this period of time. My shoulders and arms finally went to sleep and were just burning and hurting so bad. I was just praying, "please God make it stop or just let me die now." I swear if I ever have to have that done again, I'm just going to tell them to shoot me or cut my boobs off first. It's just pure torture. My chest and arms are still burning. They may not recover for a week. They are just not use to such freedom. Anyways! Thank God that's over. Best of all, my prize for being so good and still was a pounding throbbing headache. Whoo Hoo! Now next Friday I have a sleep deprived test to do. I can't believe they expect me to stay awake all night. They have lost their mind. I sure hope I can do it. I'm way to old for this. My eyes start wanting to close by nine or so. It's gong to be another torturous test for me. I'll have to go rent a bunch of girly movies to watch. Then I get to wait another week for results. At which time, I'm sure to tell me yes your a loon, here's some medicine, go home. Just sayin....

2 comments:

Sharon said...

I've never had either one but from your description it doesn't sound like a good time. I know you're glad that's over. Has Lauren had hers yet? You have to stay awake all night for your sleep test?

Karen said...

Bless your heart. I am so sorry that they were so miserable. Hopefully they can figure out what's wrong and help you get it under control/fixed.